dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I could have mohawked her pubes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My penis needs a shock collar
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
