idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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