Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
