ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize