Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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