Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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