you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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