At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
