Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
