i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
