How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
