Already got asked if we're dating
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
