my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
