Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
