Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
