This is not my ceiling
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
