Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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