well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
