I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I CAN MOONWALK!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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