He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize