i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
