yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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