I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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