i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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