lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
