I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Two words: nipple clamps
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