that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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