i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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