i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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