Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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