DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
