eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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