Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
