apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize