There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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