Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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