Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
