Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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