There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
