I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
