Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
