i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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