oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize