Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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