You're completely useless in the revolution.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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