and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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