His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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