I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize