WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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