Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
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she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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