You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
