im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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