Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
