What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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