Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
