Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
