And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
