I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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