True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
