so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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